Having a baby can affect every aspect of your life, and your friendships are no exception. Suddenly, you spend your days covered in spit up (thank goodness for leggings) instead of sipping adult bevvies on the beach. And while many things eventually settle into a new normal, your friendships still need care and attention during this big transition. Wondering how to keep them strong after baby? It’s possible—with a lot of patience, compassion, and a commitment to making it work.
Acknowledge the Shift
Even if you have the most easy-going baby in the world, you still had a baby. That means your life—and your schedule—are no longer the same. It’s natural to grieve some of the freedom your friendships once represented. But instead of pretending everything is fine, be honest. Talk to your friend and acknowledge that things are going to look different for a while—and that’s okay.
“Start by reframing how you view the shift,” explains Dr. LaToya S. Gilmore, Ed.D, LPC, NCC, a licensed professional counselor. “A shift doesn’t necessarily have to mean all is lost. It’s simply an indication that things are different and adjustments should be made.”
Schedule Some (Short) Time Together
Sure, you might not be able to hang out for hours on end like you used to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still squeeze in a quick coffee or a 30-minute walk. The key is to make the time about you and your bestie—not just your baby.
“One of the best things new moms can do to maintain the closeness they once shared with a good friend post-baby is to designate a girls’ night every few weeks without your baby in tow,” says Dr. Gilmore. “Not only is this good for your friendship, it’s also good for you to get a break from all things new-mom.”
Of course, share a milestone or two (and the obligatory carrot-face photo), but try to keep the conversation focused on your friendship—because the clock is ticking.
Show Your Support
It’s easy to assume you’re the one who needs extra TLC in those early postpartum days. But your closest companions might need support, too. After all, they’re adjusting to your new role and the ripple effects it has on your relationship.
“Your friends may also need reassurance,” says Dr. Gilmore. “As much as they support your new journey, they might feel a little left behind. If you understand their intentions and let them know you value them, they’ll be more likely to meet you with the same grace and understanding.”
Sometimes, a simple reminder that you still love and appreciate them is all it takes to keep your bond strong.
Keep Perspective
Your baby’s arrival brings immense joy, but it also reshapes the rhythms of your daily life—including your friendships. And that’s normal. Friendships are always a work in progress, and with a little love, effort, and flexibility from both sides, they can continue to grow right alongside your expanding family.