It’s no coincidence that Gloria Loring is our cover story. Fans of Gloria’s will remember her from her days as Liz Chandler on Days of Our Lives. Or maybe from her smash hit, “Friends and Lovers.” Oh, and she also happens to be singer Robin Thicke’s mom. But in addition to all those accolades, Gloria recently penned an eye-opening — and enlightening — book, Coincidence is God’s Way of Remaining Anonymous. We spoke to Gloria about her career and coincidences and how it all works together beautifully.
How did your book come to be?
The book came to be because of a confluence of occurrences. It was truly a series of extraordinary coincidences. An interviewer once had told me that coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous, and that fascinated me. Years later, I found out that Albert Einstein said it! [laughs] If you’re going to borrow, borrow from someone brilliant, right? The idea for the book came twenty years ago, but I actually started writing it twelve years ago.
The stories I used in the book were good, but the book isn’t about how lucky I am. It’s about what has happened to me and how this can help you. I needed to come to this from a position to absolutely know that this is true—to feel that there is a magnificent intelligence that created everything. You don’t have to believe in a personal god but there is an intelligence, a creativity, a being, and a bliss that exists in the world. We see it—we have it in ourselves in fact—and since we are in the human experience, we have to be careful about picking up unfortunate ideas about ourselves and taking them on to be true.
What were some of the ones you believed?
I believed that nothing I did was good enough, that no one understood me, and that someone always spoiled my fun. Those were my personal myths.
And for the most part, the personal myths are mostly negative.
They will keep trying to get our attention as to what we’re a participant in. We bring it into our lives. If we believe that we deserve it, then we are attracted to the “norm.” You grow up in an abusive home and then you wind up with a guy who steals from you or hurts you. Coincidence is what you are attracting and what you are running away from.
I personally don’t believe in randomness. I believe that coincidences are trying to tell you something.
Absolutely. We are connected to what we need to know and what we need to grow. This is to expand and move on to the next level, to see ourselves in a bigger way. The very people who bother us, I call them “Angels of Adversity.” They bring into our lives some message of ourselves that we need to see in a big way. Coincidence will keep bringing it into our lives to help bring it to our consciousness. It is asking us to step into a larger way of being. It may be asking us to have more patience, more kindness, more compassion, or more forgiveness. There are all these opportunities and because we are of the DNA of the massive intelligence which created us, we will keep creating and seeing, through coincidence and intuition, that which we need to break free from. And that’s what this book is about. It’s not an autobiography. This one has a purpose; it is a memoir with a message. What happened to me can happen to you, and I give the how-to’s.
How was the actual writing process? Was it cathartic?
I would write it and put it aside. Then I would work intensely and then felt it wasn’t there yet. I finally got to the point that so many things had happened; I had lost my parents and then my sister. While we are here, we can ask ourselves, “What is this asking of me?” I know the hardest thing of all is what it’s asking me. Can I truly forgive? Almost always, they give us an opportunity to step into a much larger sense of life. I am so impressed with these parents from Sandy Hook, who have spoken out on behalf of their children. They know that they want to be part of something bigger and grander. That’s what all of life calls us to do. And we can get stuck. Sometimes it takes days or weeks or months to get to them. Coincidence is a greater way of life, what it is calling us to step into, and it does it in a very tangible way. Our spiritual energy is what we put out in the world and that has power.
I think that in order to spot the coincidences, you have to be aware.
That’s what I’m hoping my book will bring. People are using it like a manual. It’s helped to expand their awareness to that which might be calling to them. The first place to start is the things that cause you pain. How am I allowing/noticing/attracting someone who will bring that into my life and what can it serve? We do this with our children when they have unfortunate ideas. One time I was watching my little grandson, Tyler. His parents went out and he was inconsolable. He was crying, “Mommy Daddy gone,” and it was heartbreaking. So I kept repeating to him that Mommy and Daddy were coming home. Finally, he started to repeat it, and he was learning how to self-comfort. For too many of us, there weren’t people there to modify a message when we needed it. They take on responsibility when they shouldn’t because no one was there to be the mother of the moment and they take this into their adult lives.
What I love is that each chapter of the book has a song associated with it.
As I wrote those stories, I was going through a creative time and a spiritual transformation. I was seeing the big picture of the same stories and principles, but it all came out of my life. It’s the only book with a soundtrack!
Speaking of music, let’s talk about your musical career as well!
Right now I’m working with a wonderful record producer. I wrote a song with Robin Thicke, my R&B rock star son! [laughs] There are some things brewing that will get me back on tour. It’s great stuff and very exciting. I knew that once I finished this book, it would lead me back out again. I’ve been on my mountaintop for the past 16 years, doing a lot of meditation and study, working and speaking. Now it feels like my expanded heart should be in an expanded arena.
I absolutely love talking about these things, and I’m glad that we got to speak, Gloria.
I’m so happy whenever I talk about this, too. I feel that my heart is so big and that this can serve a purpose. I know that I’ve been given a message of great value. And if you don’t know where to start, simply start where you are. I was a yoga teacher for 7 years. I would tell people, “Start where you are. If all you can do is bring your arm here, meet your body there and breathe. See if your body wants to open up, then pay attention.” Then ask yourself what you need. Get an idea that’s bigger than your understanding. I started to see coincidences, delved into it, and everything I needed for my next stage of life started appearing. Let this book be the next coincidence in your life.