Sometimes being a bad girl can be a very good thing indeed. At least that’s what Dr. Carole Lieberman believes. The author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets spoke to Celebrity Parents Magazine about what it takes to be a bad girl, and how even the best of good girls can (and should) sometimes be a bad girl in their marriages.
What would be your definition of a bad girl?
A bad girl is a woman who starts off by having a dysfunctional relationship with her Daddy, when she’s growing up, that makes her feel unloveable. For example, Daddy could be depressed and not emotionally available, or a workaholic who’s not physically around. The most common problem these days is divorce, especially when Daddy starts dating or even having a new family. The little girl then grows up to be attracted to bad boys, who break her heart. After one too many bad boys, a woman who gives up on finding a prince who will love her, and goes after men to exploit them for other things, becomes a bad girl.
What are some of their traits?
I define 12 types of bad girls, who I call the Dozen Dangerous Damsels. They are the: Gold-Digger, Addict, Sex Siren, Sexual Withholder, Married Woman on the Prowl, Commitment-Phobe, Husband Hunter and Trapper, Husband Stealer, Ultimate Damsel in Distress, Cougar, Ball-Buster and Bad Girl Scorned. All of them are heartbreakers.
How can “good girls” adopt these characteristics?
A good girl can adopt the bad girl secrets to a man’s heart without actually becoming ‘bad’. In my research of over 100 guys, who had relationships with bad girls, there were common factors that attracted and kept them in it. These relate to the bad girl’s looks, dress, sexual behavior, personality, lifestyle and tactics, which I describe and illustrate with real stories from the dating front, in my book.
How can women be “bad girls” in a marriage?
While bad girls have different strategies for manipulating nice guys, they share certain alluring traits. Irresistibly exciting, clever, flirtatious, and seductive, they make their man feel like the sexiest, most invincible stud on the planet. The biggest complaint I hear from married men is that once they married their wife, she stopped being alluring and sexy. Instead, she traded her Victoria Secret lingerie for flannel pajamas,and her stilettos for clogs. This is not only a turn-off, but it makes a husband feel bad about himself and disappointed in his marriage.
Why would it be important for women (who generally tend to become desexualized in marriage) to adopt these traits? What are the benefits?
Feeling like the biggest stud on the planet is what all men secretly long for – regardless of age, socio-economic status or marital status. So, if a man’s wife isn’t going to make him feel this way, there are plenty of bad girls out there who will – especially the Husband Stealer type.
How can women use bad girl traits to their advantage, in life and in love?
Bad girl traits not only work to keep a man on his toes, but they are useful in getting anyone to take notice of you and realize that you are a force to be reckoned with.