At some point in your life, you may find yourself at a proverbial crossroad. Sometimes, you know exactly which direction to take, but more often than not, it’s not a clear path. It’s in those moments when you might wish that you had a guide to help you along your journey. Luba Boguslavsky Yudkovich has walked in your shoes — literally. With a former career in corporate America, Luba listened to her inner voice which led her to her true calling: life coaching. She shared her story on pursuing your passion, honoring her Jewish heritage, and the value of creating a community to help you become your authentic self.
So let’s talk about life prior to being a life coach. What were you doing beforehand?
I started my career post college in magazines, doing promotions and events. It was a time when print was transitioning to online. Then the massive layoffs happened, because print was dying. I got laid off and I interned for a bit, but it just wasn’t my thing. My kids were at that age where I wanted to be home with them, and I felt like it was important to pick them up from school, see who their friends are, and be there for their activities.
My mom owned a bagel store, and she was looking for someone to help her. She couldn’t do it on her own, I was unemployed, and she’s like, “Why don’t you come work with me? You’ll work part time and you’ll be home for the kids.” And so that was nine years of my life. I did love to see the same customers and know about their lives and what they were going through — I felt like I had an extended family. However, I felt like my skill set could be used on a bigger stage. I had this little gnawing feeling inside of me, like, “Okay, what am I going to do with myself?”
I can relate to this so much. There’s this feeling of, “What’s next?”
Yes, and life just took me down a path where I met a therapist who was into spirituality and how to continue learning and expanding as a person. She showed me how to move forward and I started taking classes and doing all kinds of transformational growth. And it was during that time that I saw what I could give back to the world.
I volunteered as a coach because I wanted to have that experience of being in service to someone, like someone was in service to me. I got an opportunity to work with five amazing people. I chose them because I wanted diversity; I didn’t want to coach someone who was like me. When I was doing this work, I knew that this was what made my heart sing. I thought about being a life coach but it’s such a broad career, right? I feel like so many of us are life coaches, but we’re just not certified. But I knew that I had to do my own inner work in order for me to be able to help others. I can only lead by example; you can’t be a life coach via textbook.
But I also needed to go through my own personal healing and discovery, like, who am I? It’s like you are a student, you are a wife, you’re a mother, you’re a daughter, you’re a sister, you’re all these titles. That’s your identity, but if you take all that identity away, who are you, really? It took me a long time to understand who I am.
And it never ends.
That’s right. It is a lifetime process. I’m someone different every single day.
Oh, I love that. Now, how was that initial transition into life coaching like?
I had to go through the whole imposter syndrome, like, “Am I good enough? What if I mess someone up? What if I give them bad advice?” I knew that I could do it, but I felt that if I got certified, it might make me feel more legit. So I did, but at the end, that piece of paper is for someone else, not me.
You mentioned while we were shooting that working with a life coach is so much more than just trying to find your next job.
For me, it’s all about the mind, body, and soul. I have a 25-year yoga practice — I’ve always been able to connect to my body in that way. In order for your life to work, you have to be connected to something greater that’s outside of yourself. It means understanding that life is not linear and it’s not always going to be fair. It’s about evolving, growing, learning, and healing. Life can be hard, but it’s all a matter of choice in how you view it. How can I learn from it? What tools am I going to implement? Will I ask for help?
Oh, that last one is a hard one, especially for moms. Then again, it’s also challenging for men too, because they’re often taught that you don’t ask for help or show vulnerability.
That’s true. It’s about being able to accept the gift of someone holding space for you. Lately, I’ve been focusing on that because I have a hard time receiving, too. A friend of mine was gifting me something, and while I received it and thanked him, he thanked me for allowing him to give it to me.
That’s powerful. Now, how would you say that being a life coach is different from being a therapist?
With therapy, you’re looking back, like what happened in your childhood and your upbringing. As a life coach, I want to know your story and what brought you here. However, we’re looking forward. What can we do differently? What strategies can we implement? Where do you want to be? We look at the goals we can set to get you there using what you learned from your past to move forward and create new memories and experiences for yourself.
I think that can be tough, because when you’re doing those deep dives in therapy and healing the trauma stored in your body, it can paralyze you.
So, suffering is optional. You don’t have to suffer. Sometimes, we might feel like we need to suffer in order to experience something deep. You don’t. I want to be happy and to flow through life. I’ve had these experiences, and some of them are heavy and some of them are unpleasant, but am I going to let it drag me down like an anchor, or am I going to release it and be grateful in how it served me? It got me to where I am, I’ve learned that lesson, and I’m ready for happiness.
Let’s talk about the beautiful necklace you’re wearing.
I was born in the former Soviet Union, which is now Ukraine, and my parents brought me here when I was four years-old for a better life. We were persecuted because we were Jewish. We had an opportunity to leave during the late 70s, when there was a mass exodus of Russian Jews, and we came to America.
Growing up, I wasn’t really raised with any Jewish foundation, because in communism, there’s no religion; there’s only the government. But I had a really deep connection, almost on a soul level, to Judaism. And so at a very young age, I started volunteering and I became part of a Jewish youth organization. I was on the cover of Jewish Week! They interviewed me and I met a lot of diplomats. I met Bibi Netanyahu when he was an ambassador.
I knew growing up that Judaism was really important to me. I did not take for granted that my parents brought me here because of the antisemitism where we lived, and that I wasn’t able to practice my faith and be who I am. And now that I had the opportunity, I wasn’t going to waste it. I knew that when I got married, I wanted to have a Jewish home. I wanted to give my children the Jewish morals and the traditions. I have a visceral experience in my body when I go to Israel. When I go there, it’s almost like I’m going home.
So what’s going on in Israel is very painful for me. I live in a Jewish community, and we are all very involved in what’s happening and doing whatever we can to help. I don’t forget that currently there are still 101 people being held hostage. And for me, that’s something that I go to sleep with, and I think about on a daily basis. I keep them in my prayers when I light my Shabbat candles. We’ve lost many but there are so many more people who we need to bring home.
This necklace is a reminder that although I’m grateful for the world I live in, I remember that there are people who are not free. This necklace says: “We will dance again.” My daughter volunteered in Israel, and she went to the Nova site, and she brought this back for me.
That’s incredible. Your life has been one of service and honoring people’s journeys. In terms of your own journey, where do you see yourself headed?
My whole vision is to build a community. I recently started one and I’m calling it One Vibe Tribe, because we’re all one. People thrive and grow with community. You’re with like-minded people and having these conversations, and there’s always something to learn, right? It’s important to share our life experiences, because we’re all going through the same things, just maybe at different times of our lives. I think that if you pull yourself down into sadness and suffering, then you’re putting shackles on yourself. But if you stay in that high vibration, your life opens up like a beautiful flower.