35 New Year’s Jokes For Kids That Are Better Than Any Resolution

Getting ready for the New Year typically means buying lots of yummy snacks, stocking up on some adult beverages, and preparing for a night full of fun — usually without kids. But there’s nothing like laughter to ring in the New Year right, especially when you do it together as a family. And while the holidays tend to be quite punny all on their own, it’s always better when there’s some jolly jokes your kid can tell you right before the clock strikes twelve. These 35 New Year’s jokes for kids are silly, which is exactly the way to welcome in 2023.

  1. Why are there so many vampires out on New Year’s Eve?

For old fangs time.

2. What do you say when you see someone after midnight on New Year’s Day?

I haven’t seen you since last year!

3. What is corn’s favorite day of the year? 

New Ear’s Day.

4. Why is the person who plans the Time’s Square celebration on New Year’s a failure? 

They always drop the ball.

5. What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?

Hoppy New Year!

6. What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?

To travel more.

7. Why should you put your calendar in the freezer?

To start off the new year in a cool way.

8. Where can you find comedians at a New Year’s Eve party?

In the punchline.

9. What group hates New Year’s Day?

The New Year’s Eve clean-up crew.

10. What should people never eat on New Year’s Eve?

Fire crackers.

11. What does a ghost say on January 1? 

Happy boo year!

12. Where did the math teacher hang out on New Year’s Eve?

Times Square.

13. What happened to the person who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve?

They got 12 months!

14. What’s the luckiest band on New Year’s Day?

Black-Eyed Peas.

15. What’s a cow’s favorite night of the year?

Moo Year’s Eve.

16. What did the farmer give his wife on New Year’s Eve?

Hogs and kisses.

17. What do snowmen do on New Year’s Eve?

Chill out.

18. What did Dad say at 11:59 on New Year’s Eve?

I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.

19. Why did someone sprinkle sugar on their pillow on New Year’s Eve? 

They wanted to start the year with sweet dreams.

20. What was the caterpillar’s New Year’s resolution?

To turn over a new leaf.

21. Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?

To ring in the New Year.

New Year’s Eve Knock Knock Jokes

22. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? 


Scold who?

Scold enough out here to go ice skating.


23. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Razor who?

Razor glass to toast the new year.


24. Knock, knock. 

Who’s there?


Snow who?



25. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Hannah who? 

Hannah Happy New Year!

26. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Joe King. 

Joe King who?

Joking like this on New Year’s Eve?


27. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Abby who?

Abby New Year!


28. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?


Woo who?

Calm down, the ball hasn’t dropped yet!


29. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? 


Radio who? 

Radio not, it’s a New Year.


30. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? 


Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here.


New Year’s Riddles and Puns

31. Why do you want someone with a bubbly personality at the New Year’s party?

They always bring champagne!

32. What was the optometrist’s favorite New Year’s celebration?


33. Did you hear about the firecracker’s New Year’s Eve party?

It was a BANG!

34. Why should you never make fireworks angry on New Year’s?

You might just set them off!

35. In what year did Christmas Day and New Year’s Day fall in the same year?

Every year!

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