Although you may look back on the poofy sleeves and loads of lace and cringe, your wedding day was probably one of the most magical moments of your life. But as time marches on, you might not remember exactly how you felt as Mendelssohn’s Wedding March played, or that zing you felt when the officiant announced that you were lawfully wedded. And that’s why you need to dust off that CD (or, gasp, VHS cassette tape), and pop it into a player, because watching your wedding video can be good for your relationship.
But, you say, you don’t have time to watch your wedding video. After all, you’ve got kids now, and that means you barely have time to see your shows, much less commit a couple of hours to watching a younger version of yourself and your sweetie slicing a wedding cake. That’s precisely why you should watch it, though, according to Dana Mistretta, a relationship expert from Rise Medical. “Ask anyone and they’ll tell you one of the greatest days of their life is the day they were married,” says Mistretta. “It’s connected to so many beautiful memories, and alongside the day your child/children are born, it’s easily one of the most emotional days in a couples’ life.”
Read on to discover why watching your wedding video can reconnect you to your partner in an entirely new (and lovely) way.
It Reminds You Of A Happier Time
No matter how stressful your wedding day was, chances are you can look back on those mishaps (like temporarily losing your veil) and laugh about them now. That’s what watching your wedding video does. “It’s a great idea to watch your wedding video periodically because it reminds you of the positive feelings you had with your partner in the beginning,” says Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. “It can also help you feel closer with your partner to reminisce on such a special day together.” And all those fun feels can make you feel closer to your partner — in more ways than one.
It Can Reaffirm Your Commitment
There’s nothing like seeing you and your now-spouse pledging to love each other for all of eternity to be reminded of those vows you took. And that can be helpful, especially if you’re a few years into your marriage when the sparkly shine has worn done to a dull (and dirty) finish. “Going back and watching your wedding video with your partner allows you and your partner to be reminded of the commitment you made to each other in a place of love and dedication,” Stephanie Mintz, The Strategic Relationship Consultant tells Celebrity Parents. “This can open up a conversation about what you now love about your partner, which may be the same or different from when you got married. talking about the strengths in your marriage, and talking about areas that you want to work on strengthening.” By watching your wedding video first, you have some context with which to have this conversation and do so in a way that honors your connection and commitment to each other.
It Allows You To See All The Missed Moments
Sure, you heard that Uncle Al was trying to breakdance on the dance floor, but you were too busy taking photos that you didn’t get to see him do a headspin. Well, when you watch your wedding video, you get to see all the missed moments you wish you could have seen, like him doing a windmill. “It’s quite easy to get caught up in the hoopla and forget to soak up those precious moments,” Rori Sassoon, a relationship expert says. “When it comes to watching your wedding video, you have the opportunity to take a bird eye’s view into what the actual day entailed. You can relive the memories, while perhaps picking up on a new memory or unnoticed detail amidst the whirlwind.” Being able to see your video in a more relaxed setting (and with the advantage of hindsight), you can truly appreciate how amazing the day truly was — gaffes and all.
It Gives Your Children A Chance To Learn About Your Love Story
Kids might find it cringey to think of their parents being, you know, real people and doing unthinkable things like kissing. But once they get past a certain age, your kids are going to clamor to see your wedding video. “If you now have children, they get to see how your love and dedication to one another started,” says Kasey King, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist. You can make it a family movie night by putting out some tasty kid-friendly snacks, and snuggle together on the couch, too. After all, there’s a lot to learn from watching your wedding video, adds Oscar Ruiz, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Watching the wedding video as a family may help the parents emphasize what was important to them when they got married so that the children can hold onto values and beliefs about what is important to them about the institution of marriage.”
It Can Potentially Help Your Relationship Through A Rough Patch
Of course, every relationship has its ups and downs. If you find that your marriage is struggling a bit, you might want to slow things down, and press play on watching your wedding video. “The nostalgia aspect of the wedding video can help the relationship during a marital rough patch,” says Sassoon. “It can gently remind you of those warm, fuzzy feelings, bringing you two closer together again.” While it could inspire some sparks into your relationship, it might also be a wakeup call to determine if this is a momentary lull in your marriage, or something that needs to be considered more closely.
It Can Serve As A Reminder Of Who You Were — And Who You’re Meant To Be
It’s easy to get swept up in the day-to-day rigors of marriage and kids. But you were a real person before you got married, and you’re even more incredible now — even if you don’t realize that. “For married couples who invested in a wedding video, it can remind them of who they were when they got married and who they have become since,” says Ruiz. “Rewatching the video can help re-establish the couple to what they are working towards with maintaining this long-term commitment.” That can be both as a couple and also who you both are individually so that you (and your marriage) are stronger.
It’s Just Fun
The food, the fashion, the music. The Dancing. There’s just so much fodder to poke fun at when you’re watching a wedding video — and if nothing else, that’s the main reason you should watch yours. “It’s fun to laugh at yourself or your spouse for how nervous they were, for the dance moves captured on film or for any commentary that was shared,” says Ruiz. “It’s about capturing a once in a lifetime memory and it helps to watch it while laughing together at the moments that happened.”
Whether you’re looking for some laughs, a way to reconnect with your partner, or seeing moving (and silly) family moments, there’s nothing better than watching your wedding video. It just might inspire you to walk down the aisle all over again.
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