You get into a big fight with your partner and now, the two of you aren’t talking. Of course, you gab with your girlfriend about the situation, but it still feels like that tension is festering inside you. That’s when you should put pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard) and start journaling your feelings. Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness knows that writing is the right way to give you clarity and peace — and it only takes a few minutes to feel good again.
What are the benefits of journaling for someone who probably doesn’t write just expressing yourself through writing.
The research on journaling is pretty fascinating. For example, studies on writing about challenging events have shown remarkable results. James Pennebaker has done extensive research on this. In one study, participants wrote for 20 minutes over three days. That was it—just 20 minutes a day for three days. Researchers followed them throughout the semester and found that not only did they have less depression and anxiety at the end of the semester, but their immune systems were actually stronger. They analyzed specific immune factors and saw a measurable improvement. The only difference was that these students journaled for three days, yet three or four months later, their immune systems were better.
That’s amazing.
It is! Journaling strengthens your immune system and helps reduce anxiety and depression in the long run. However, while writing about a challenging event, distress can temporarily increase. But over time, it helps clarify thoughts. A lot of times, we have thoughts running through our minds that don’t quite make sense until we write them down. Journaling also helps define solutions to problems and allows us to be more objective about situations.
It can even aid with forgiveness. Instead of focusing solely on why we’re upset with someone, we can see another perspective—like realizing your husband was short with you because he had a tough day, just like you. This ability to step back and see the bigger picture builds empathy. Overall, journaling enhances a positive mood. It’s a powerful intervention tool.
I like to differentiate between different types of journaling, which is why I asked what kind you meant. I categorize three main types:
- Positive Events (Gratitude Journaling)– A gratitude journal is something I think everyone can benefit from. Every night, before bed, write down at least three positive things that happened that day. Why? Because as a society—especially as working moms—we tend to focus on what still needs to be done, what went wrong, or what we didn’t accomplish. Gratitude journaling helps shift the focus to what’s right. It’s not about ignoring struggles, but recognizing accomplishments, like “My kids were acting up, but I’m so proud of how loving they are.” Gratitude is the number one predictor of happiness. Research in positive psychology shows that gratitude brings greater happiness.
And it’s easy! It takes 17 seconds. You can do it while getting into bed, on the toilet—wherever! It doesn’t cost anything. You can even write it on the back of your spouse (if they let you). The key is to scan your day for positive moments because when you know you’re going to write them down at night, you start noticing them more throughout the day.
- Writing About a Specific Negative Event– This isn’t just venting about everything wrong in life. Instead, it’s about writing through a particular event—whether it happened today or 40 years ago—that still affects you. Research shows that writing about a deeply personal or traumatic event helps release it. It boosts your immune system and facilitates forgiveness.
- Tracking Progress– This is useful if you’re working toward a goal, like weight loss. Write, “I worked out for 20 minutes today,” or “I resisted a chocolate chip cookie.” Tracking progress reinforces positive habits.
If someone only picks one type of journaling, I’d recommend gratitude journaling because it’s so powerful. And since your column is about winding down at the end of the day, it’s something great to do with kids, too.
You’re speaking to someone who’s journaled forever. I always have diaries. I wrote a ton when I was pregnant—kept a journal for both kids—and I still write about their lives. It’s so cool to look back because you forget the little things they say and do. I’ve done negative event journaling, too—it’s a great way to vent and clear my mind.
Yes! It’s like free therapy.
[laughs] Exactly.
But what about people who don’t naturally write?
A lot of people worry about spelling or grammar, but none of that matters. It’s just about getting thoughts onto paper. Another concern is privacy. No one has to read it. Some clients burn or shred their writing after—it’s still therapeutic. Others blog and share everything. It’s personal.
If someone is hesitant, I suggest trying it for just a month. Set a time limit—maybe five minutes. Many people find that once they start, they write for 20 minutes without realizing it. The key is not making it feel like an obligation.
It’s not supposed to be a burden—it’s supposed to help.
Exactly.
Once people write, should they keep their journals? Re-read them?
Yes. Revisiting your writing helps. If it’s gratitude journaling, it builds even more gratitude. If it’s about a negative event, re-reading can offer new insights. When stress levels are lower, we see things more objectively. It’s like looking at an old diary—you can see how far you’ve come.
What should people write about if they don’t know where to start?
Any of the three types—gratitude, specific event, or progress tracking. And a journal doesn’t have to be just one thing. Some days, you’ll write about gratitude, other days, vent about a bad day, and sometimes, track progress. It’s flexible.
Right! It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
Exactly. I always tell my clients that journaling isn’t just “Dear Diary” teenage drama—it’s a valuable tool for reducing stress and increasing happiness. It’s one of many tools, but it’s free, accessible, and easy. Even if you’re stuck in traffic, you can mentally plan your gratitude list for the day. It’s a small habit that can make a huge difference.