You wake up in the middle of the night to check on the kids, when you see a bluish glow coming from your family room. You go there to find your sweetie sitting in the dark on his social media accounts. But just because your partner is on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram doesn’t necessarily mean that you should assume the worst, advises Shaelyn T. Pham, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of the book, The Joy of Me.
If the incident makes you want to find out your hubby’s FB password ASAP, you need to stop for a minute and ask yourself why. “The question is not whether you should have access to it but rather why do you want to have access to it,” says Pham. If you suspect that your partner is cheating—and assume that you’ll find evidence to support your theory—then it might be helpful to you to ask for it.
Take Care Of Yourself
If it’s because you’re feeling a little insecure, then you’ll need to find ways to work on your issues and rebuild your self-esteem. Maybe you haven’t lost the baby weight yet, or feel unsure of yourself since you stopped working. Figure out what would make you feel better, and then take steps to gain your confidence back.
Communicate Your Concerns
If there has been infidelity in the past, “determine if having his login and password will truly help you to regain trust in your relationship,” says Pham. Most likely, your spouse is simply doing what you do online—connecting with friends and clicking and commenting on pics, nothing more. But it’s important to keep in mind that you need to trust your partner and allow him to have his space and privacy, adds Pham. After all, when you have nothing to hide, then you hide nothing.